In English history one of the great battles for power lasted for over a hundred years, with two great houses fighting for the right to sit upon the throne. In my house, it just seems like the fight has lasted that long, because Brandy has only been here four months. And they’re not exactly fighting, nor is their goal a throne. It’s me. And their noses are in a permanent state of out-of-jointness.
Apparently I must not be allowed to pet, kiss, fondle, feed, sneeze or even look at the other one, without the second being present. Preferably under my feet, or with their nose up my butt. Okay, so that is only Grady. Brandy’s nose is in my shoe.
There is no galloping down the field of honour in armour, pennants waving. It’s more of a charge down the stairs and fall over yourself because she might be taking the other one outside, and no doubt they are getting all kinds of gourmet treats and goodies.
I am not allowed to go down the stairs alone, they must both come. And even though I hitch up one to a leash and tell the other to go upstairs (which they do), they come right back down the second the door opens. And until we return, there is either a large golden behind pressing against the door, or a black nose making periodic appearances above the bottom of the door as Brandy tries to see what he’s getting that she isn’t.
Thus goeth my days. Even in my office chair, I have Brandy under my feet and Grady’s nose in my armpit. He apparently finds Lady Schick Baby Powder formula deodorant, very heady. In the kitchen it’s a nose above the countertop with one eye on my lunch and the other on me, which is quite a trick for a blind dog, I can tell you. Brandy stares at my ankle, but she’s sure Grady is going to get the lunch. And I thought I was getting claustrophobic because the cats won’t let me go to the bathroom alone.
See? All I had to do was *think* about getting up out of my chair and they’re already on the move. I’m beginning to wonder if I have a tracking device in my clothes. Next time I want to take them out, I’ll strip first. I figure that way they won’t want to be seen with me.